But if you’re feeling confused or helpless watching someone you love change before your eyes, it’s valid to start asking these questions. Living with an alcoholic can be emotionally, financially and physically exhausting. It can make you feel isolated, ashamed, and worried about the health and future of your household. It is important to seek support for yourself and remember that you are not alone. It is important to understand that you did not cause your loved one’s drinking, and you cannot control or cure it.
When your loved one swears to you and to themselves that they will never touch another drop of alcohol, you might believe them. If you have children, it’s important to protect them from unacceptable behavior as well. Do not tolerate hurtful or negative comments addressed towards them.
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Alcohol can amplify aggressive behaviour, and arguments or conflicts may escalate more quickly when someone is intoxicated. This can make your own home feel unsafe, especially if there are physical threats or emotional manipulation. It is also important to take time for living with an alcoholic how to live with an alcoholic yourself and focus on your own self-care.
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You may still want to help your loved one when they are in the middle of a crisis. When someone reaches a crisis point, sometimes that’s when they finally admit they have a problem and begin to reach out for help. If your loved one is truly dependent on alcohol, they are going to drink no matter what you do or say.
The don’ts of living with an alcoholic partner
However, there are several ways you can help them address their problem without attempting to control or stop their drinking. Never do things that make it easier for an alcoholic to be an alcoholic. Never buy alcohol for them, and never cover for them when they have a hangover.
- Living with someone who struggles with alcohol addiction is no easy ride.
- Sometimes, it’s to cope with grief, job loss, trauma or a personal crisis.
- Long-term recovery begins with a single step – the moment when someone realises they’ve lost control and are ready to make a change.
- Children may no longer be able to rely on the adult with AUD, which can place undue pressures on them.
- Some people can have alcohol use disorder and experience very few if any of these things.
- You can help by offering unconditional support, including abstaining from drinking yourself.
This page offers practical advice to help you navigate the complex challenges of living with an alcoholic. This will help you provide much-needed support while also looking after yourself. Remember, changing drinking habits can be challenging, and setbacks may occur. Persistence and ongoing effort are crucial in achieving long-term success. Many people will think that if they simply don’t talk about it, it will go away.
If you are living with an alcoholic, there are steps you can take to support them and yourself. It is important to have a good support system and to take time for yourself. You can also encourage the person to seek professional treatment and help them set new limits and realistic ways of sticking to those limits. Living with an alcoholic can be exhausting, emotionally draining, and isolating.
The challenges of living with an alcoholic
The toll is not just emotional, it’s mental, physical, financial, and deeply isolating. Living with an alcoholic can feel like a never-ending rollercoaster, one moment you’re hopeful, the next you’re overwhelmed. Whether it’s your partner, spouse, or family member, alcoholism doesn’t just affect the person drinking, it affects everyone around them. If you’ve been covering up for your loved one and not talking about their addiction openly for a long time, it may seem daunting to reach out for help.
- But thoughtful, compassionate communication can open the door to meaningful change.
- Alcohol addiction can affect anyone – but Jordan and Helen are proof that you can break the chain of addiction and regain control of your life.
- AUD can cause various mental health issues, and people with addictions can become very emotional and reactive.
- If you are living with an alcoholic partner, some boundaries to consider include having your own bank account, sleeping in separate beds, and not enabling their behaviour.
This could include telling a teacher or another trusted adult that you are unsafe, and having a bag packed and an emergency fund ready if you need to leave home. Children are often the silent sufferers in households where addiction dominates daily life. Living with an alcoholic parent creates an unstable environment that can deeply affect a child’s emotional and psychological development. Whether it’s a toddler too young to understand why Mom or Dad is acting differently, or a teenager silently absorbing the chaos, the consequences can be long-lasting. This emotional chaos is not just a phase, it can become a long-term mental health battle for the sober partner.
Whether you’re living with an alcoholic spouse or a family member, it’s important to recognize that you don’t have to face this challenge alone. Setting boundaries, seeking professional help, and connecting with support groups are crucial steps in navigating addiction’s impact. It can be emotionally, financially, and physically exhausting for those living with an alcoholic partner. Alcoholics may appear to choose alcohol over their partners, jobs, and children.
Enabling behaviour, such as making excuses for their drinking or covering up for them, can actually hinder their recovery. Instead, learn to set healthy boundaries and allow them to face the consequences of their actions. Alcoholism, alcohol dependence, and alcohol addiction are recognised alcohol use disorders that are considered chronic. Alcoholism is a potentially life-threatening condition that can lead to memory loss, liver fibrosis, fatty liver, cancers, high blood pressure, stroke, and even death.
This could include seeing a therapist, putting physical distance between you and your loved one, or having a trusted friend to call when things get tough. Having boundaries avoids co-dependency and sets limits for your loved one. Discover the supportive tools and guidance Project Courage offers to help you navigate this challenging journey with clarity and care. Talk therapy (or play therapy for younger children) can also help you all work through the challenges AUD can present to a household. A support group to build connections with others who are going through similar experiences can be beneficial. If family members try to «help» by covering up for their drinking and making excuses for them, they are playing right into their loved one’s denial game.
Al-Anon is the most popular support program available to loved ones of alcoholics. It is a program modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous and provides peer support to adults. People participating in Al-Anon understand the challenges and devastation of living and loving someone with a problem with alcohol.
Never make up for their shortfalls – if they say they will do something but then they are too drunk to do it, don’t make up for it by doing it yourself. The less you enable them, the more likely they will be to see that they are doing something wrong. This helps your loved one stay on track, while also giving you space to process everything and find support for yourself, too. When someone you love is drinking heavily, it’s natural to start asking questions. When determining if the person you live with has a drinking problem, consider the big picture. If you know they drink a lot and/or drink frequently and they have at least a few of these symptoms, chances are there is a problem with alcohol.